Affairs and endings
Somebody would need to find all of it, and nobody could.
“If something happened to me tomorrow, nobody would know where the will is, which pension is with whom, or who to call first. I keep meaning to sort it out.”
20 guides · 112 minutes of reading
These guides help you get your own affairs findable, and help you when you are dealing with someone else's. They cover what to write down, who should hold which role, and the order of steps after a death. The three start here guides are the place to begin. If you are in the first days after a loss, go straight to the section on after a death.
Start here
Getting your own affairs findable
Start here for what to write down so someone could find it all if they had to.
The if-something-happens-to-me file: what goes in itA plain record of what exists and where it is kept, so no one has to rebuild your life from outside. It is not a will, and it is done in passes.7 min read
What to write down in case something happens to meOne page, written in an evening: who to call, what's due this week, where the papers are and how someone gets into your phone. Places, not passwords.6 min read
Life admin binder: what to include, in 8 sectionsWhat goes in a life admin binder: eight tabs, a filled sample page, what to leave out, and why a short finished binder beats a long empty one.6 min read
If you were hospitalized, what would someone need to find?A two-week test for your paperwork: who would be called, which bills fall due, and how someone could get help with accounts and your phone.6 min read
Which documents to keep, shred or store, and for how longHow long the IRS says to keep tax records, which papers to keep forever, what to shred, and a three-folder system sorted by how fast you'd need each one.6 min read
After a death, in order
The first steps, who to tell, and how to look for a will, in the order they are usually done.
What to do when a parent dies: the first two weeks (US)The few things that cannot wait, the many that can, and why to order extra death certificates. Steps in order, for a grieving week.7 min read
What to do when a parent dies: the first fortnight (UK)The few things that cannot wait, the many that can, and how Tell Us Once notifies government in one call. Steps in order, for the whole UK.6 min read
Who to notify when someone dies, in orderWho to tell first, what can wait, and what Social Security, the IRS and the credit reporting agencies actually ask for, in the United States.5 min read
How to find a will after someone diesWhere wills are usually kept in the US, the order worth searching in, what a found original legally has to do next, and what happens if there's none.5 min read
Named executor of a will: what you agreed to (US)What an executor does, how long it takes, where you can be personally liable, and how to say no if you cannot take the role on.7 min read
Named as an executor: what you agreed to (UK)What an executor does in the UK, how long probate takes, where you can be personally liable, and how to step aside before you start.2 min read
Tracing accounts and access
How to search for accounts, digital services and boxes when nothing was written down.
How to find someone's accounts after they dieA search order for finding bank accounts, pensions and life insurance in the US: statements first, then four free locator tools before paying for a search.5 min read
Digital accounts after a death: what can be recoveredPhotos, email, subscriptions and social accounts. What providers will actually release, what they won't, and what to set up now for yourself.6 min read
Who can open a safe deposit box or safe when you die?What to write down about a safe, a deposit box and spare keys, why a name beats a code, and how to check that someone can really open them.5 min read
People, roles and decisions
Who decides, who cares for children or pets, and how to keep forms up to date.
How to choose a health care proxy, and record itChoosing someone to speak for you about medical care, asking them, and writing down where the paperwork is. Forms and rules vary by state.6 min read
Who would raise your children? A guardian checklistA guardian who would say no is worse than none named, because it looks settled when it is not. A checklist for choosing, asking and a second choice.7 min read
Who will take care of your pets if something happens to youA name, what each animal needs, and where the papers are. A short note that makes a hard week easier for whoever steps in.4 min read
Beneficiary vs will: which one decides who gets it?A 401(k), IRA or life insurance policy pays whoever is named on the form, not whoever your will names. What passes how, and how to check yours.6 min read
How to talk to your parents about their will and financesWhat to open with, which documents to ask about, what to do if they say no, and scripts for a conversation that usually takes several tries.5 min read
What to update after marriage, divorce, a move or a babyWhere to look again after a marriage, divorce, move, new baby or new job in the United States: names on forms first, then the 60-day insurance window.5 min read