A call where you have to say no, or tell someone something they will not want to hear, is harder than a call where you have to ask for something. The difficulty is not the phone. It is that you are about to disappoint someone and you have not decided how.
This guide is about the practical parts: what to decide, what to have ready, and what to say first. It is not therapy, negotiation coaching or advice about what you should agree to.
What makes this one hard?
Naming it tells you what is worth having ready.
5 things to do
Ticks are for this visit only. Nothing here is saved anywhere.
Before you dial
Say what you want
One line: what you want to be true when you put the phone down.
Decide what you will not agree to
Deciding now means you are not deciding it while somebody waits on the line.
Set the room
A glass of water within reach, and somewhere you will not be overheard.
Name two call-back times
In case now turns out to be the wrong moment.
Get the first sentence ready
Getting the first sentence out is most of it.
An opening to start from
Pick the situation. Use it, or change it to sound like you.
Pick the one you are facing
“Hi, it is me. There is something I need to tell you and it is not good news. Is now an all right time?”
“Hi, I have thought about it and I am not going to be able to do it. I wanted to tell you rather than leave you waiting.”
“Hi, I need to talk to you about money, which I would rather do directly than by email. Do you have a few minutes?”
“Hi, I am calling about this again. I would like to get it sorted today if we can. Can you look at what has happened so far?”
You are allowed to ask for a minute
During the call, you are allowed to ask for a minute to think, and you are allowed to say you will call back. Neither is a failure. Write down anything that was agreed, and, if it matters, the name of who you spoke to.
For everyday admin calls, there are scripts in scripts for the admin calls everyone dreads.